NewVine Employment Group
April 14, 2023

How to Handle Difficult Conversations with Employees

As a manager, one of the hardest parts of your job is having difficult conversations with employees. Whether it's about poor performance, sensitive personal matters or delivering bad news, these conversations can be uncomfortable and even embarrassing. 

However, avoiding them can be even more damaging to your team and organization.  In this article, we discuss how to effectively handle difficult conversations with employees. 

Plan and prepare 

Before starting a conversation, take time to plan what you want to say, anticipate possible reactions, and prepare your response. This will help you stay on track and avoid ignoring emotions or unexpected surprises. The first step in planning is to solve the problem that needs to be solved. It could be anything from poor work to misconduct or a sensitive personal matter. Once you've identified a problem, gather  the necessary information, such as performance metrics, peer or customer feedback, or any relevant policies or procedures. It helps to give specific examples and avoid assumptions or generalizations.  

Next, consider how the employee might react to the conversation and prepare your response accordingly. Consider their personality, communication style and potential emotional triggers. Think about how you can frame the conversation in a way that is respectful, constructive, and solution-seeking, rather than blaming or criticizing. Finally, think about the possible outcomes or consequences of the conversation and prepare to communicate them clearly and professionally. 


Choose the right time and place 

Choosing the right time and place is crucial to the success of the discussion. You want to choose a time and place that is private, quiet and free of distractions. This helps the employee feel more comfortable and valued and allows them to focus on the conversation. If possible, schedule the interview in advance and tell the employee the purpose of the meeting so he can also prepare.

Regarding time, it is important to choose a time when the employee is not distracted or stressed. Avoid scheduling the conversation at the beginning or end of the day when they may be rushing to complete tasks or get ready to leave. Instead, choose a time when they are likely to be more relaxed and focused, such as in the morning or afternoon. 

Be clear and specific 

One of the most important things in a difficult conversation is to be clear and specific about the topic you want to address, its impact on the team or organization and what you expect from the employee going forward. Use specific examples to illustrate your points and avoid generalizations or assumptions. For example, instead of saying "your performance has been poor lately", say "in the last three weeks, you've missed three deadlines and submitted work that needed to be revised multiple times". 

It is important to use  respectful and non-judgmental language when giving feedback. Avoid using accusatory or inflammatory language and instead focus on the behavior or problem. For example, instead of saying, "You're not a team player", say "I noticed that you didn't attend the last team meeting and you didn't collaborate with your colleagues as much as you used to". 


Listen actively and empathetically 

Difficult conversations are not only about giving feedback, but also about actively listening to the employee's perspective, acknowledging feelings and showing empathy for the situation. This will help build trust and rapport and create a more productive conversation. When the employee speaks, be sure to listen carefully and avoid interrupting or dismissing their concerns. Use open-ended questions to encourage them to elaborate on their perspective and show that you are interested in understanding their perspective. 

When responding to the employee, use empathetic language that shows you understand their point of view. Even if you don't agree with their point of view, acknowledging their feelings and concerns will help them feel heard and valued. For example, you could say "I understand that this situation is difficult for you and that you are frustrated. Let's work together to find a solution that works for both of us". 


Focus on solutions 

The ultimate goal of having a difficult conversation with an employee is to find a solution that will solve the problem and improve their performance or behavior. It means focusing on the future instead of the past. Work with the employee to identify specific actions they can take to improve the situation, and set clear expectations and deadlines for follow-up. This helps them feel empowered and motivated to make positive changes. It is also important to be open to suggestions and feedback from employees. They may have insights or ideas you haven't considered, and getting their input can lead to more effective solutions. 

Follow Up

After the discussion, follow up with the employee to make sure they are making progress and that the agreed upon actions are being taken. It shows that you are committed to their success and value their contribution to the team or organization. Schedule a follow-up appointment or check-in to discuss progress and provide additional support or guidance as needed.Overall, having difficult conversations with employees is never easy but it is an essential part of being an effective manager. By planning and preparing, choosing the right time and place, being clear and specific, listening actively and empathetically, focusing on solutions and following through, you can approach these conversations with confidence and achieve positive results for the employee and the organization. Remember that difficult conversations don't have to be negative or punitive; they can provide opportunities for growth and development for all involved.

Get started

Our staffing and recruiting agency is here to help with your employment needs. Contact NewVine Employment Group today!

Sign up for our newsletter

Anim aute id magna aliqua ad ad non deserunt sunt. Qui irure qui Lorem cupidatat commodo. Elit sunt amet fugiat veniam occaecat fugiat.

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
We care about the protection of your data. Read our Privacy Policy.